I remember when Crystal moved to New York. I was working at a Creative Agency in Belltown and decided to organize an informal farewell party. I've always been a firm believer if you're organizing an event, you basically have every right in the world to make the location as convenient for you as you wish (of course, ensure guest of honor approves of said location). I picked a trendy bar in Belltown to have the party and reserved the back room. Yes, it was 2 blocks away from my work, on a Wednesday at 6pm but it was also a central location equipped with a decent happy hour and a place everyone knew. The party was a success, everyone showed to see Crystal off and I was happy. The next morning I came into work and needless to say required coffee (turns out they had a better than decent HH). I walked up 1st Ave to the nearest Starbucks only a few blocks away past Del Ray, passing it I thought about what a fun night it had been then set my sights on that skinny vanilla latte. After grabbing coffee and heading out back to work I passed Del Ray again and felt an immediate lump in my thought, I could feel the water works kicking in and the realization my best friend was moving. I told myself to get it together, it's 9am on a Thursday and as a rule of thumb do not cry in an office environment. I took a deep breath and walked in and went back to working on my project. The director of my department sent me an IM asking me to review something at her desk so I took a deep breath and put all my emotions behind me. We resolved what she needed right away then she asked how last night went (when you work at a small company, everyone knows more about your personal life than you'd typically share). I told her it was great and a lot of fun then went a bit silent because I didn't want to stir up tears again - however she could tell I was down….what can I say, I'm a bad liar. I felt it, it came on...a few tears. She looked me in the eye and said, "What's distance?" She then went on to say if your relationship is strong enough and you're truly best friends, then what's the problem? If you miss someone, you hop on a plane, if you want to talk to them you call them. True friendships aren't effected by distance but the effort you put into it (or don't put into it). She also said, "Guess what, you have a place to stay and a reason to come to New York." I immediately felt better...really, how could distance ever effect a true friendship? I remember when Crystal would come home for holidays or for a weekend, I would always be sad when she left to go back to NY but I knew our friendship would never change because of her moving. Ironically enough, I was almost a bit disappointed when she moved back because visiting her made for some of the best memories of my life. I ended up fining my wedding dress in NY, seeing Christmas and snow in the city, parting with the NYPD, discovering "after hours" in bars that meant 7am, meeting countless new friends, being a bit more aggressive after coming back from a trip, finding confidence in public transportation, feeling the energy of Wall Street, bartering for EVERYTHING and starting out at $5, walking a little faster, feeling a connection to the fallen heroes of 9/11, seeing 2 amazing Broadway shows (that's a bucket list item), experiencing Fleet Week, biking in Central Park (another bucket list item - check), knowing the true meaning of I heart NY, discovering fabulous Canal Street and most of all having a best friend living there as a true New Yorker to open the door to a new world.
So as I sit here and think about moving to California in less than 2 weeks and being away from my dearest and best friends, I think to myself: What's Distance? There's no amount of distance that can come between true friendship. I do have it going for me that Danville, CA is a less than 2 hour, less than $200 flight. I am also very fortunate to stay with my company and come back to Seattle frequently for work purposes where I'll tie in the occasional happy hour, ladies lunch or dinner and wine night with the girls. It truly is what you make of it and I plan to make the most out of this experience and new beginning. I can only hope I'm as good of a hostess to my girlfriends as Crystal was to us in NYC :) San Fran, here we come!
